The Barman and the Tourist
Listen to the story
It is believed that The Tam o’ Shanter Inn and its characters were the inspiration for Burns’ famous Tam o’ Shanter poem.
Shadows of the Past Illustrated Stories
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A curious tourist enters the Tam o’ Shanter Inn. Established in 1749, it is said to be one of Ayr’s oldest public houses and a favourite of Scotland’s National Bard, Robert Burns.
The low beamed ceilings and dim lighting make for a warm inviting atmosphere. Locals sit at small round tables drinking, talking, and laughing. The tourist approaches the curved wooden bar where a barman stands; the tourist points to the silhouetted character standing outside and asks for more information.
TOURIST:
“Who’s that?”
BARMAN:
“Who?”
BARMAN:
“Ach, aye, that’s Tam.”
TOURIST:
“Did you say Tom?”
BARMAN:
“Naw, Tam.”
TOURIST:
“Tam, ah, I think I’ve heard of that man.”
BARMAN:
“Aye, Tam fae the Rabbie poem, he liked a dram.”
TOURIST:
“A dram? What’s that?”
BARMAN:
“A snifter, a swally, a wee drink.”
TOURIST:
“I fancy a lemonade, come to think.
So, remind me, how does this poem go?”
BARMAN:
“Well, he got drunk and headed home.
He was late and worried his wife would moan.”
TOURIST:
“Couldn’t he have called her on his phone?”
BARMAN:
“It was 1791, and that wasn’t known.”
TOURIST:
“Wasn’t her name Meg, the horse he rode?”
BARMAN:
“That’s right it was, she galloped through the mirk.”
TOURIST:
“Ah, yes, then he saw witches dancing at the church.”
BARMAN:
“Kirk.”
TOURIST:
“Kirk? As in Captain?”
BARMAN:
“No kirk as in church, it’s a Scots word.”
TOURIST:
“That’s not a word I’ve heard… How much is the lemonade?”
BARMAN:
“£1.20…thank you.”
TOURIST:
“Have you ever thought about what Tam might do?”
BARMAN:
“What if he was here now?”
TOURIST:
“Yeah, in 2022.”
BARMAN:
“Maybe he’d buy two suppers fae The Blue Lagoon. Text his wife and say,
“I’m on my way home.”
Because of course in 2022, Tam has a phone.
“Heat the plates, I’ve been to the chippy.”
“Hope the bus comes soon it’s a wee bit nippy.”
And Tam as he waits only ten minutes at the station
Wouldn’t know how lucky he was to avoid that sorry situation
– and a lifetime of nightmares.”
TOURIST:
“That version seems a bit boring though.”
BARMAN:
“Aye, it is a wee bit, I know.”
TOURIST:
“Tam grabs a chippy and rides the MEG-a-bus home”
BARMAN:
“Well, if you want more excitement, read the poem!”
Map location of silhouette
Inspiration
Inspired by the Robert Burns poem Tam o’ Shanter, this story is set in the thatch-roofed Tam o’ Shanter Inn – Ayr’s oldest pub and likely inspiration for the opening of the spooky poem.
Credits
Written by: Annaliese Rose Broughton
Illustrations by: Jazz Buchanan
Audio by: Annaliese Rose Broughton, Gregor Campbell & Liam Stewart
Audio recording and mixing by: Scott Andrew